Divorce can bring out the worst in people. You gave it your best, but you just cannot make your marriage work. You are probably a little afraid, sad, angry, disillusioned, and confused. You’ve hired a divorce lawyer. It doesn’t really matter what caused the marriage to dissolve, you simply feel the full range of emotions as you grieve its passing.

Everything in your life to this point has been yours. Your family owns the house. Your family owns the cars. Your family has savings. You may own a family business. You share your children and even your pets are yours. Yours as in your family. Now you are expected to split things up. You will take half and your partner will take the other half. Your children will spend part of their time with you, and part of their time with their other parent.

You have to figure out how you can live on a single income. You have to make some tough choices. But, you do not want a war. You care about the person you married, and you want to be fair. Mostly, you want your children to see that you still treat each other with respect. So, you have to lower the battle flag and get to work preparing a compromise that has the child’s best interests in mind.

What Is Divorce Mediation?

Divorce mediation is when you hire a skilled and trained person to work with the two of you and help you make the tough choices. Their job is to be unbiased. They are a third party, and they will not benefit more if one party “wins” over the other.

A mediator may or may not be an attorney. Some attorneys and retired judges become mediators as a way to help people get through a divorce. But, even if they are a divorce lawyer, they work for you as a family. Everything is kept confidential.

A divorce mediator understands the laws in the state of California. They know what will and will not work. With their help, you can work out an agreement that works for your family. With your agreement in place and all the issues worked out, you are now ready to file an uncontested divorce.


When you opt for using divorce lawyers, each party will have an attorney representing only them. They are there to fight for their client, and it is not their job to be concerned with the spouse.

If there is a spouse that is being unreasonable or unfair, an attorney may be needed. Divorces can get ugly quickly. Especially if there was domestic or emotional abuse, infidelity, or dishonesty involved. In a case like this, a lawyer may be a better option.  The last thing you want to do is go into a battle unarmed.


Of course, using a divorce mediator is less expensive than hiring an attorney. As mentioned, there will be two attorneys to pay instead of one mediator.

When you hire a divorce attorney, there is a chance that your case will end up in court. This usually prolongs the divorce. California has a six-month waiting period from the time you file for divorce. Cooperative people, using a mediator, almost always allows the divorce to be filed faster and therefore the divorce is approved sooner.

Only you can decide what the best option is for your divorce. Take the time to check out all your options and do what is right for you.